Mother’s Day 2014

https://knap53.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/29-smile-a-little-smile-for-me-new-stereo-version.m4a

RLHJefandMags Helenahome

MommyandmeMammaplus   joan 1doriscopy Barbara   LilBarbara

This Sunday, May 11th is Mother’s Day and as I sit here thinking about that day that is set aside for Moms, I can’t help thinking about the moms I have had and the moms I know.  It is such a special event not because the card companies make money as well as all the florists and restaurants, but because it has come to be more than just a commercial gimmick.  Because of that commercial gimmick Moms of all walks of life are now recognized, celebrated and hopefully appreciated.  For me it has become a day of reflection as well as a day that allows me to sit back and appreciate the love that my children show me when they celebrate this day with me.  It’s a day that allows us to be together without thought of any others.  We are free to just be.  It fills me with tremendous joy to just “be” with my children.  It’s better than birthdays. It’s better than any other holiday to me.  It is the one day in the whole year when I really feel like I have accomplished something in life.  When I look upon my children and see how they have grown into fine human beings and how loving they are toward their own mates and their own offspring; it swells my heart with pride.  I know that my job as a mom was the best I could do and my children are a product of that job.  They are typical children with typical mischievous histories and typical angelic histories. They are also very special.  No matter what has ever transpired in our lives, my children have always been the kind of children everyone wishes they had.  I feel loved by my children. I feel respected by my children.  Don’t misunderstand me, they can make me cry as quick as they can make me laugh. They can ignore me as much as they can pay avid attention to me, but the one thing they have never done, either of them is disappoint me.  I have never been truly disappointed in either of my children and to me that is the ultimate gift that being a mother allows me.  If mother’s day celebrates that feeling than I want to be a full participant.  I want to bask in the glory of being able to spend a day with my children and enjoy them and love them and get away with all the kissy faces I can manage!

Mother’s Day is also a day for me to reflect on all the women I know in my life who are also mothers.  I watch as they dedicate themselves day after day to their children, sacrificing if the need arises, tiring themselves out till they hurt if their children need them, just doing the best they can every single day to let their children know they love them and are there for them.  I celebrate these women today as well.  I am so glad I know them and so glad they are part of my life in one way or another.  Happy Mother’s Day to all my family and all my friends who are moms!  I hope this Mother’s Day you will be celebrated loudly and cherished dearly, just as you are cherished quietly each and every day. Mother’s Day cannot pass without my thinking of the women who have been a mom to me.  My mom, Helen and my mother-in-law Teresa.  Without their love, guidance and strength I’m not so sure I would be as confident or caring as I find I am these days.

My mom was tough and soft; happy and cranky; a very complex and complicated woman to figure out.  The life she had growing up was extremely hard and didn’t get much better until later on in life, closer to her passing.  She had so few years to experience the luxury of life, though my brother, Tom tried to give it to her.  She was cheated out of most of what life had to offer and I always wish that she were here now so I could show her all the things that she missed out on and worship her as she should have been worshipped.  I wish I could just sit on her lap one more time and tell her, “I love you, Mommy”, even if she wouldn’t say it back to me.  I hope her spirit is now at rest and she feels all the love that she might not have felt during her lifetime.  I hope her spirit knows that she lives on in everyone she has left behind.  For a part of my mommy will always be a part of me.

My mother-in-law was also a very formidable woman.  Her entire life was dedicated to the health and well-being of her children and grandchildren.  She was a woman whose strength of convictions I have yet to see matched.  She loved fiercely without wavering.  She taught me many things in the years she was with us.  I don’t think I was ever able to express the depth of respect and love I felt for her, even though I tried in my own way to communicate.  We spoke different languages, she Italian and me English, so it was hard most times.  She raised her children with such a magnitude of love that they are still to this day the greatest bunch of people you could ever meet.  They carry on her legacy with their own children and their own values.  They are the ultimate of what a loving family consists of, they are close, they are caring, they are hard-working, they are proud, they are a unit.  My mother-in-law did a great job at being a mom and I can only hope that one day someone, somewhere will be able to say the same about me.

Last but far from the least, are my sisters and my niece who are no longer with us, but moms who have also passed. Their spirits live on in their children and their love of family and of life leaves all of us who remain a goal to thrive for.  Their lives were very short, but their generous spirits and their love of family and friends was phenomenal. Not a day passes when one of them or all of them doesn’t pass through my thoughts and cause a ripple of pain from missing them through my heart; or bring a smile to my lips just remembering something they said or did to make me laugh. So I hope that everyone will think of Mother’s Day in a new way today.  I hope that those of you who read my blog will realize that it wasn’t such a bad idea to commercialize a day for Mom’s as long as the sentiment that goes with it is practiced and remembered.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

IMG_0862 PS:  Song in this blog is dedicated to my Mom, who loved this song and often said she wished she was named Rosemary.

And that is the Way I See It here in Brooklyn

K

The good with the bad

Well Mother’s Day was lovely.  The weather was perfect and the children were wonderful.  We went to Prospect Park after brunch and I had an opportunity to see the beauty of the Park I grew up around.  It has changed somewhat, but remains lovely.  We went by the lake and I was able to sit on a bench and look at the calmness of the water which is home to some ducks, swans and other water fowl.  It was very crowded yet peaceful at the same time.  For the past four days I have been paying the price however.  My body is trying to regain some strength.  Somehow I caught something else to deal with…a sore eye.  I developed some type of sore on the lid and it is affecting the left side of my face. As much as I love and enjoy outings, they don’t return the favor any longer.  Whenever, I venture to go somewhere, the next three to four days I spend recuperating, but I am not complaining, more like venting.  I long for the days when I could walk faster, move faster, get five things done at the same time.  I wish a simple beautiful day such as Mother’s Day didn’t leave me feeling as if every drop of energy was drained from my body.  Now that the nicer weather is upon us, I would love to be outside enjoying nature and people, but I fear I face another summer stuck indoors or only as far outside as my porch.  The few times when I can get out and get a ride in the car is a gift to me these past fifteen months.  I wish I learned to drive all those years ago, but now it is too late for wishes and the reality of my present life looms before me.  I am grateful for so many things and frightened by others.  I suppose one must take the good with the bad.  I try to do that every single day.  Every once in awhile though I do become a bit despondent and long for those days when I didn’t have to think about the good or the bad, they were just there.  Those days when all that occupied my thoughts were the day to day operations of my employment and what was for dinner and if we would watch TV or finish a project for the house, or go out somewhere.  All those day to day things are gone now and one day folds into the other, passing in the same way.  I suppose my limitations are pronounced this week because I fell into the fantasy that perhaps I could be my old own self again.  I woke up though as soon as Monday arrived.  I look around my house and see so many projects that I wish I could do.  I have the itch to garden at this time of year, but I must wait for assistance for all I can do these days is supervise from a chair and even that doesn’t last very long before I tire out. When people see me they tell me “how good I look”, I think that has always been a sort of curse with me, from the outside, one would never know that anything at all was wrong with me.  It is all hidden beneath my skin, this debilitating, life stealing monster that consumes my physical being and zaps my abilities and energy on a daily basis.  I don’t mind most days because I dislike crying about woes in general.  So today seems to be a good day.  At least I can type today and write on my blog.  The weather is nice, the sun is shining and I am basking in its warm through my window.  I am grateful for everyday though one would not think so from today’s post.  I am glad that Mother’s Day and all holidays only come once a year for I fear that anymore than that would make me into a terrible crank who does nothing but vent….and that is not something I want to be.  So I hope you bare with me while I think of inspiration to post about things other than myself and I truly begin again with the cycle of taking the good with the bad.

And that is the Way I See It here in Brooklyn,

K